Learning to detach – From the book “Tuesdays with Morrie”

¡Hola Amigos!!! Hoping you all are safe and doing well. Last week, I was reading this wonderful book “Tuesdays with Morrie” by the author Mitch Albom. The book is about sharing some really great and deep pearls of wisdom about life, by a dying man to one of his old students Mitch. They met each other every Tuesday, and Morrie shares his powerful words of wisdom and some life lessons. I don’t know if you have already read this book or not but if not, I will strongly recommend you all to read this. I believe you will find it astonishing. My today’s post is to share my feelings or can say a few thoughts on one of the topics discussed in this book “Detachment”.

On one of the Tuesdays, while discussing emotions, Morrie told Mitch that how and why learning to detach is important. However, Morrie was the person who always talk about experiencing every moment in life even good or bad. But, this time he was talking differently. He is saying to detach yourself from the experiences. It was strange for Mitch so, when Mitch gets confused about this he asked to explain and in reply Morrie said:

“Detachment doesn’t mean you don’t let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That’s how you are able to leave it .”

“Take any emotion–love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I’m going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions–if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them–you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the
pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, ‘All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.”

How thoughtful it is, no? This whole conversation gave me a reason to stop and think about what exactly Morrie is trying to teach here. We all have a habit of holding onto our past, our problems, pains, grief, regret, anger with friends, family, or any other beloved, but happiness. isn’t it? I feel that. If we go through a rough time we keep holding onto the pain of it and stay in grief for long. but oppositely, if we go through any happy moment we live that moment for the time and then we move on. Why does it take so long to move on from the pain like it is not going to end ever? I think because we don’t allow ourselves to move on. we do not allow ourselves to experience any other emotions when we are depressed. But, on the other side, we let our happiness be compromised with any other negative emotion so easily. If you are happy and someone calls you bad, you immediately get angry or sad but if you are sad and someone tells you nice things, then you do not get in a happy mood. I am sure if you take a pause and give it a thought, you will find the same.

If we hold back any of the emotions we would never be able to walk ahead in life. Life goes on and so we should. Things happen, good, bad and it keeps coming and going away. If today is bad, it is ok to feel sad, to cry, to feel pain but holding it till tomorrow makes your tomorrow bad too. I don’t know much about you but for me, I really need to practice learning to detach from not only bad emotions but good too.

I hope you will find this helpful too. Looking forward to your thoughts on this or any other topic from the book “Tuesdays with Morrie” if you have read it already. Have a great day every day!

Morrie and Mitch – Source: google images

The First Step – towards anything you want to achieve

People keep asking each other or sometimes to themselves about how I can become a writer or how I can become a photographer, a musician, or anything else they want to become. They keep saying I want to be this or that, I want to do this or that but, how? They don’t know the answer. So, I think the answer to all those questions will be right saying just take the first step.

Yes, just take the first step to enter into that world you want to win. You will start to get to know how that thing works. Taking the first is the biggest step and called for a lot of courage and guts. Without putting your step in that world you might never know how everything is in there and without that information, you can’t simply win.

If you want to be a writer just start writing. If you want to be a singer just start singing. If you want to be a photographer just start pressing the shutter button. “But don’t start operating people if you want to be a doctor.” 😉 Well, you know what I mean anyway. No matter how bad you wrote. No matter how tuneless you sang. No matter how blurry photo you captured. This is just your first step. Don’t expect to be perfect. We all fall many times before we start to walk, and that’s how we learn. We always learn from the mistakes. If you could find what is wrong in your writing, singing, photo, or whatever you are trying, you can improvise it and make it better on the next attempt, and then you will be ready to take the second step LEARNING.

I took my first step in the writing world and I never thought that even I can write anything. Before taking the step it felt impossible to me like it was never my cup of tea. It needed a lot of courage because we always care what people will say. We always think negatively more, what if we failed? We always think, how people will judge. But I moved my step ahead and now when I started to know this world and the value of writing, it seems all different than I thought. It made things easier for me to learn and keep moving. The journey from crawling to running doesn’t happen in a single day and I know it.

I am sure you must have took your first step ever for something or might be thinking now to take it. I would love to hear your thought on this.

Share your story or any word of wisdom that might help encouraging me or other readers in any way or might help to get some motivation and hope.

Tamanjeet Singh

Fruit Of Success

You have to plant a seed to get the taste of the fruit. But, the fruits do not grow on the day you plant them. It takes time and a lot of patience. You have to water them regularly, you have to protect them from insects, birds, or animals so they don’t harm the plant. It is a long process and you have to stick to the routine to take care of your plant.

The life is exactly the same. If you want to achieve something, you have to put your efforts. You have to constantly water your dreams. You have to protect yourself from negative thoughts and words that can damage your vision. You have to make sure of not being negligent and walk your path every day, and one day you will achieve your fruit of success for sure.

Stop Worry, Enjoy Your Breakfast!

Some people say that everything that happens around us is a perfect plan of God and he does everything for our good. Then why should we worry about our life let God worry, we should just enjoy it. Right?

On the other way, some people say that everything that happens around us is a reflection of our own actions in the past. It is a result of our own thoughts, our vibes, and our decisions. Then why should we worry again, we should just enjoy life and stay positive and happy all the time. So the next sun will rise with the reflection of the same vibes. Right?

Everyone has their own way to see the world and to understand the world, and we keep changing that viewpoint along with the different life experiences. My today’s belief could be tomorrow’s doubts and similarly, today’s doubts could be turned into belief tomorrow. Life is unpredictable always. If you think you know the world or you understand life, you are wrong. You only know what you have experienced until now, what you have seen and heard. But, more than you already know is still unknown to you. We can not predict or control the things happening around us, we can just assume or wish. We have no control over life and we all know this somewhere inside but still, deny to accept it. We keep trying to control the things or keep wishing if we could/would able to control this. There is nothing wrong with controlling things or at least trying to, but what wrong is, we try to control our past and future. “The past”, that has already gone and we know surely we can not change any single second of it now and other is future which is never predictable. In these all worries, we are missing every tiny moment to enjoy, to love, to admire, to embellish ourselves in the present. Every day we are missing our “today” in thinking for tomorrow or yesterday and that loop never ends. Every new day comes with new thoughts, new challenges, and new possibilities of the future, and instead of enjoying those moments even it’s challenging, we again start our process to think and worry about it, because things are not the same today as we predicted in yesterday. All those tries and wishes to control or change things, sometimes take us into the feeling of despair and we start questing ourselves because we feel failed. We doubt ourselves. “Why me?” “Why this happening with me?” “I can never do this.” “Nobody loves me.” “I always have bad luck.” Such thoughts start spreading their roots deep inside us, and we start losing our confidence. We lose our will to enjoy life or even to live sometimes.

Life is short, enjoy your breakfast without worrying about dinner, otherwise, breakfast will become cold and tasteless.

Be What You Are

You may not acceptable to people, as you are but, if you change yourself for them, will you accept yourself?

Sometimes you pretend or become someone that you are not, you change your lifestyle, your talking style, your behaviour, everything to either just impress someone or to be fit in somewhere. But sooner or later, you realize that this is not your place, this is not what you are. And that day is my dear the day when you finally find you, when you finally accept you, AS YOU ARE.

Have you accepted yourself yet, as you are?

5 Self-Notes to keep yourself motivated

1 – Take small steps at first.

Don’t jump, always breakdown your big goal into small steps and focus the progress on each step. Remember, every small step counts.

2 – Surround yourself with positive people/vibes.

Don’t stay stick in a negative state of mind, keep yourself surrounded with positive people and positive thoughts. Remember, you can do it.

3 – Always remember, why you started at first.

Never forget the reason, why you started your journey. Always see yourself at the other end with success in your hand.

4 – Never hesitate to ask help.

Don’t hesitate or feel shame to ask for a helping hand. Remember, nobody is perfect.

5 – Always remember, at the end either you will succeed or learned.

Always finish what you have taken in your hand. There is no loss ever in anything, either you become successful or become wise by learning from your mistakes. Remember, success is always made up of failures.