Self-Comparing

Comparing with others gave me nothing but misery and put me in a state where I start to doubt my capabilities and strength. I start to destroy my confidence and that means I was not just destroying the confidence but my life too. I feel small in front of a more capable, more confident, more successful society always ready to scar with their razer-sharped words coming directly from their contaminated thoughts.

I can tell now that there was a time when I couldn’t speak a single word in front of people. I was unable to make conversation with anyone. I always saw other people superior to me in terms of knowledge, confidence, appearance, status, money, looks, etc and etc. My mindset was different. I was an under-height skinny boy in my younger age. Shy, away from the crowd, hardly matched thoughts with others. It has been really hard for me to find a like-minded person and to make friends. I never know what people were thinking but in my mind, it always sounds like they don’t like me around them. I was not a fish of their pond. This all made me feel leftover most often. I always see others and think I wish I would have more friends to hang around like them. I wish I would have a better body and look. I always felt depressed when I start comparing things I have with things others have. When I compare how different I am from others. Always depressing when I compare myself with any others. Every human being or every creature on the earth has different abilities, talents, and capabilities, has different interests and inclinations, has different lives, perspectives, and circumstances. By understanding this, I was able to understand that it is a fool’s work to compare himself with someone other who is thoroughly different in every aspect. It changed my life now. When I understood this I stopped doing comparisons with any others and pushed myself to come out of my comfort zone and at least try to face my all fears. I changed myself because I knew I have space to improve myself. I start to compare myself with my past-self only. I have made progress in everything, knowledge, speaking with strangers, making conversation in groups, blending in with my surroundings, appreciating myself as I am, and working to become better. Instead of being depressed now, I feel proud when I see all those changes in my life. Selfcomparing gives a new perspective and a vision to see real changes, real achievements.

So I guess now that the only way to compare myself is that, I compare myself with only me. The one Me in the past. I should ask questions to myself that how much improvement I have made within myself in all those years of my life? What I have achieved till the date today? Have I become or at least near to become or working to become what I have planned 5 years ago? Am I a better person than I was before? Those are the real questions I am going to ask myself to compare where I have reached so far, to find my achievement in my own life and if there is someplace where I haven’t improved or gotten worse I would know what mistakes I have done and what I need to be done to get better in those areas as well. This new perception has given me new eyes to look at myself and see all the improvements. How better I have become. How confident I am now. How successful I am now.

“The best way to compare is by comparing yourself with yourself. Selfcomparing is the only way to see the progress in you”

Tamanjeet Singh

Learning to detach – From the book “Tuesdays with Morrie”

¡Hola Amigos!!! Hoping you all are safe and doing well. Last week, I was reading this wonderful book “Tuesdays with Morrie” by the author Mitch Albom. The book is about sharing some really great and deep pearls of wisdom about life, by a dying man to one of his old students Mitch. They met each other every Tuesday, and Morrie shares his powerful words of wisdom and some life lessons. I don’t know if you have already read this book or not but if not, I will strongly recommend you all to read this. I believe you will find it astonishing. My today’s post is to share my feelings or can say a few thoughts on one of the topics discussed in this book “Detachment”.

On one of the Tuesdays, while discussing emotions, Morrie told Mitch that how and why learning to detach is important. However, Morrie was the person who always talk about experiencing every moment in life even good or bad. But, this time he was talking differently. He is saying to detach yourself from the experiences. It was strange for Mitch so, when Mitch gets confused about this he asked to explain and in reply Morrie said:

“Detachment doesn’t mean you don’t let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That’s how you are able to leave it .”

“Take any emotion–love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I’m going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions–if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them–you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the
pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, ‘All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.”

How thoughtful it is, no? This whole conversation gave me a reason to stop and think about what exactly Morrie is trying to teach here. We all have a habit of holding onto our past, our problems, pains, grief, regret, anger with friends, family, or any other beloved, but happiness. isn’t it? I feel that. If we go through a rough time we keep holding onto the pain of it and stay in grief for long. but oppositely, if we go through any happy moment we live that moment for the time and then we move on. Why does it take so long to move on from the pain like it is not going to end ever? I think because we don’t allow ourselves to move on. we do not allow ourselves to experience any other emotions when we are depressed. But, on the other side, we let our happiness be compromised with any other negative emotion so easily. If you are happy and someone calls you bad, you immediately get angry or sad but if you are sad and someone tells you nice things, then you do not get in a happy mood. I am sure if you take a pause and give it a thought, you will find the same.

If we hold back any of the emotions we would never be able to walk ahead in life. Life goes on and so we should. Things happen, good, bad and it keeps coming and going away. If today is bad, it is ok to feel sad, to cry, to feel pain but holding it till tomorrow makes your tomorrow bad too. I don’t know much about you but for me, I really need to practice learning to detach from not only bad emotions but good too.

I hope you will find this helpful too. Looking forward to your thoughts on this or any other topic from the book “Tuesdays with Morrie” if you have read it already. Have a great day every day!

Morrie and Mitch – Source: google images

A Dream

Hello readers, can I ask you question? Have you ever fallen in love with someone with whom you feels like living in La LA Land but you failed to have him/her in your life in the end? Or you let her/him go for any reason? Well, if you have experienced any of the dreamy love that got vanished with the beautiful dawn and left a sweet smile on your face, then I am hoping my this poem will take you back in the time. Please enjoy with smile😊

A Dream
I Saw her stand near the shore
Where birds were singing like never before
Her eyes were shining with the light of dawn
Hairs were swaying with the wind blown
My life, my love, my true desire
No words are made for her admire
Just two steps she was far away
I walked thousands still left some way
She Smiled and came closer to me
Where golden sky meets the sea 

Suddenly I feel a silence around
In silence I heard a low knowing sound
Coming from inside deep in mine
I felt for the first time the heartbeat of mine
It feels like heaven, it sounds amaze
In that moment there was some craze
Those feelings were something can never be say
Those feelings I wanted forever to stay
But magic of god happens for few
Soon I found that nothing was true
I opened my eyes and all were clear
It was A Dream nothing was real

Thank you for reading, I am assuming you smiling with heart and wish you smiling forever.

First Marathon Experience

I am the stronger and better than once I was, but I am not gonna stop here to settle with what I have, what I am. I will keep walking. Don’t settle with what you have, what you are today. You can always reach a better place than today. Come out of your comfort and get up to grab the opportunity that floating just behind the door. Keep pushing yourself to harder situations to find out your strength and power in you. Don’t afraid to try, it feels impossible or terrible or sometimes risky at first and it is acceptable if you take your steps back, but it’s not good if you don’t give your chance again. Always remember it’s always worth it in the end, no matter you end it right or wrong, you failed or did it well, you achieves an experience when crosses the finish line.

I remember when I first tried to participate in the 10-kilometer marathon. I could not make up a decision, whether I should register myself or not. I was not sure if I was capable enough to complete that 10 km run. I was a little scared thinking about the pain in my legs which was sure, even if I finished it up in the last. I kept thinking till the last moment of registration and I missed my chance that day. It is a very natural thing that whenever we about to try something new, our minds start counting negative results. ‘What if I failed?’ ‘What if it went wrong?’ What if this happened? What if that happened? But as soon as you just leave it behind and decide not to try, your mind starts to play the opposite. What if everything would have gone well? What if I would have won? All possible positive results. The same happened to me, I couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to run with a thousand other participants? what it would feel like to cross the finishing line? But it was now too late and I already lost my chance this time.

Next year when Airtel announced the marathon, I unquestionable took participant at the same moment and I registered myself for the 10km. With all regrets of last year I did not let myself think anything now. After registration is done, I started practicing to build up my stamina. I remember my first day of running, I barely ran 1 kilometer in 8 or 10 minutes, and I was completely out of my breath. I felt pain in my legs the next day and performed worse than the last day. At that moment I started doubting myself again, and second thoughts started to push me down. But, this time I wanted to earn that experience for which I regret the whole last year. So, I slowly pushed myself to maintain the routine, and by the end, I became able to complete 2 km in less than 10 minutes, which I thought was enough for me to complete the 10 km in a given time of 75 minutes.

The day arrived and we all reached the starting point of the marathon on time. Thousands of other people were gathered there. Some were professional runners, some beginner and regular, and some just came for the first time like me. The marathon began and all started to run. I was never able to manage to run more than 2 km while practicing, I got out of my breath and got sweaty, in just 2 km. so still I didn’t know how I will complete this 10 km. But I started to run along with all others. After 1 or 2 kilometers, somewhere it seemed a little easier than I thought, and the reason for this was the encouragement, that you get by seeing thousands of other people running alongside you. Some were younger and some were older like 50 or 60 years old or maybe more. And seriously, when you see them leaving you behind, you push your strength to get ahead of them. I don’t know it’s a feeling of being ashamed or jealous or it’s a kind of encouragement, but all I know is, it’s human nature and it is naturally true. That little encouragement gave me the required strength.

By the time when I completed 5 km, I got totally out of breath, and tired. My legs were trying to scream out loud and I slowed down the pace like I was just walking, but I didn’t stop moving. I picked up the pace for a minute and then go slow down it. I kept doing this for the next few kilometers. There were water stalls all over the place to keep the runners hydrated and wet sponges to be placed on the neck or forehead to get some relief from the heat. As near as I was reaching the finishing line I started to pick up the pace. Excitement could have been seen easily in the eyes. When the finishing line started to visible, everyone started to run faster. people standing there were cheering for all. When I put my step across the line it felt like something I won that I never expected. It was a great feeling. Although my feet hardened as a rock and were hurting a lot, it was a great relief and proud moment when I saw my completion time. I finished my run in just 69 minutes, which was great timing for the first-time runner, who had practiced for just 10 days.

It was hard, tiring, and painful too but when I crossed the finishing line my all pain turned into pride.

Believe In Soulmate?

Hello Everyone! If I ask do you believe in Soulmates, what would be your answer to this? well, some of you will say No, some will say Yes, and some will be not sure they do or do not. If you ask me, I will say yes, I believe. I believe in soulmates.

We meet thousands of people in our life and crosses millions of people’s path yet we fall in love with the one. The one who feels like our own shadow. The one who makes you feel like you know them for a life, at the moment you meet. Isn’t that strange how one becomes the part of your prayers at the very first moment you saw. You pray to god to have them in your life. You feel complete with them as you don’t need anything else from the world now. Your thoughts, your feelings, your vibes all matches faultlessly. And the best part is, you don’t need make any efforts it all happens its own like some magic.

My mind is full of your thoughts,

My heart is full of your love,

My throat is full of your praises,

My soul is full of your light,

I am nothing without you, and it is true,

I am no more of me now, I am full of you.

Tamanjeet Singh

Share your thoughts, story or any experience about Soulmate in the comment.

Stop Worry, Enjoy Your Breakfast!

Some people say that everything that happens around us is a perfect plan of God and he does everything for our good. Then why should we worry about our life let God worry, we should just enjoy it. Right?

On the other way, some people say that everything that happens around us is a reflection of our own actions in the past. It is a result of our own thoughts, our vibes, and our decisions. Then why should we worry again, we should just enjoy life and stay positive and happy all the time. So the next sun will rise with the reflection of the same vibes. Right?

Everyone has their own way to see the world and to understand the world, and we keep changing that viewpoint along with the different life experiences. My today’s belief could be tomorrow’s doubts and similarly, today’s doubts could be turned into belief tomorrow. Life is unpredictable always. If you think you know the world or you understand life, you are wrong. You only know what you have experienced until now, what you have seen and heard. But, more than you already know is still unknown to you. We can not predict or control the things happening around us, we can just assume or wish. We have no control over life and we all know this somewhere inside but still, deny to accept it. We keep trying to control the things or keep wishing if we could/would able to control this. There is nothing wrong with controlling things or at least trying to, but what wrong is, we try to control our past and future. “The past”, that has already gone and we know surely we can not change any single second of it now and other is future which is never predictable. In these all worries, we are missing every tiny moment to enjoy, to love, to admire, to embellish ourselves in the present. Every day we are missing our “today” in thinking for tomorrow or yesterday and that loop never ends. Every new day comes with new thoughts, new challenges, and new possibilities of the future, and instead of enjoying those moments even it’s challenging, we again start our process to think and worry about it, because things are not the same today as we predicted in yesterday. All those tries and wishes to control or change things, sometimes take us into the feeling of despair and we start questing ourselves because we feel failed. We doubt ourselves. “Why me?” “Why this happening with me?” “I can never do this.” “Nobody loves me.” “I always have bad luck.” Such thoughts start spreading their roots deep inside us, and we start losing our confidence. We lose our will to enjoy life or even to live sometimes.

Life is short, enjoy your breakfast without worrying about dinner, otherwise, breakfast will become cold and tasteless.