Comparing with others gave me nothing but misery and put me in a state where I start to doubt my capabilities and strength. I start to destroy my confidence and that means I was not just destroying the confidence but my life too. I feel small in front of a more capable, more confident, more successful society always ready to scar with their razer-sharped words coming directly from their contaminated thoughts.
I can tell now that there was a time when I couldn’t speak a single word in front of people. I was unable to make conversation with anyone. I always saw other people superior to me in terms of knowledge, confidence, appearance, status, money, looks, etc and etc. My mindset was different. I was an under-height skinny boy in my younger age. Shy, away from the crowd, hardly matched thoughts with others. It has been really hard for me to find a like-minded person and to make friends. I never know what people were thinking but in my mind, it always sounds like they don’t like me around them. I was not a fish of their pond. This all made me feel leftover most often. I always see others and think I wish I would have more friends to hang around like them. I wish I would have a better body and look. I always felt depressed when I start comparing things I have with things others have. When I compare how different I am from others. Always depressing when I compare myself with any others. Every human being or every creature on the earth has different abilities, talents, and capabilities, has different interests and inclinations, has different lives, perspectives, and circumstances. By understanding this, I was able to understand that it is a fool’s work to compare himself with someone other who is thoroughly different in every aspect. It changed my life now. When I understood this I stopped doing comparisons with any others and pushed myself to come out of my comfort zone and at least try to face my all fears. I changed myself because I knew I have space to improve myself. I start to compare myself with my past-self only. I have made progress in everything, knowledge, speaking with strangers, making conversation in groups, blending in with my surroundings, appreciating myself as I am, and working to become better. Instead of being depressed now, I feel proud when I see all those changes in my life. Selfcomparing gives a new perspective and a vision to see real changes, real achievements.
So I guess now that the only way to compare myself is that, I compare myself with only me. The one Me in the past. I should ask questions to myself that how much improvement I have made within myself in all those years of my life? What I have achieved till the date today? Have I become or at least near to become or working to become what I have planned 5 years ago? Am I a better person than I was before? Those are the real questions I am going to ask myself to compare where I have reached so far, to find my achievement in my own life and if there is someplace where I haven’t improved or gotten worse I would know what mistakes I have done and what I need to be done to get better in those areas as well. This new perception has given me new eyes to look at myself and see all the improvements. How better I have become. How confident I am now. How successful I am now.
“The best way to compare is by comparing yourself with yourself. Selfcomparing is the only way to see the progress in you”Tamanjeet Singh